girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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