So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
