did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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