if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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