he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
