Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
