Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
