Well douche your snatch and let's go!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize