I think I won the penis lottery.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
