I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
