um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize