We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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