I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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