so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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