I want to stick my p in your. b.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
