I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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