just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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