New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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