Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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