We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
