every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize