well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
