She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
