I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize