I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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