is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
