I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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