Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
