You can't motorboat a personality
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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