eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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