I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
