Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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