Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
