if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
