you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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