Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
