Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
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