I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
