I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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