I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
