everyone is single if you try hard enough
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Randomize
