Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
...so i touched it.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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