That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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