can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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