So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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