Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize