she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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