therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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