They should really pass out barf bags in church
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
