Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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