would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
40s are totally the cure
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
We smell like vodka and hangover
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