just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
