I cockslap morals
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
