If i come over, it means nothing
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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