I swear she didn't look like that last week.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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