How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
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