Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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