her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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