Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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