Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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