yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
