You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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