Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
