I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
