Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
